Most people assume that twins must be at least twice as hard as one baby. I think this can be true for certain things, but I also think there are things that are actually easier with twins. My twins are my first and only babies, so I’m mostly guessing on this, but here’s my list:
- Pregnancy – we found out about the twins at my first doctor appointment. One of my doctor’s first comments was, “no wonder you’re sick!” I guess she thought I was exaggerating about my morning sickness, but since there were two seahorses in there, I must be telling the truth? Although I did have morning sickness until about 15 weeks, I’ve known many women who had more severe symptoms. Also, consider this: I only had to be pregnant for approximately 33 weeks for 2 babies, where the average for 2 babies would normally be 80 weeks. I obviously would have preferred they stay in a couple more weeks, but was happy to be rid of swelling and other terrible third trimester symptoms.
- Birth – there is an increased risk of C-section with multiples, but if you are able to have a vaginal birth, it’s the ultimate BOGO. You only have to dilate once! I have to confess those moments after Baby A was born and I realized I was only halfway done were a little horrifying, but 12 minutes later, we were done!
- Asking for and/or accepting help – people simply “can’t imagine” twins and are generally super generous because of it. There are just some things that are hard or impossible with two babies so you have to swallow your pride and ask for help. I think moms with one baby sometimes feel pressure to do it all by themselves. I do not feel that pressure. I think I have a “HELP ME!” sign taped to my back (and I’m okay with that).
- Dividing responsibilities – I’m not saying we’ve never had any of the cliché new parent disagreements, but when there are two babies and two parents, it’s always your turn. Even with another hand around (Yay, Grandmas!) that’s still a 3:2 parent to baby ratio, which means it’s still your turn.
- Choosing not to exclusively breastfeed – it doesn’t matter what your reason is, it seems like people judge you less for giving twins a bottle. I think all moms should be afforded this acceptance, even though it’s no one else’s business if you feed your baby via bottle versus boob.
I think we are lucky that twins are our first because we are blissfully ignorant. Twins definitely present unique challenges. I think I’ve already blocked out the first few weeks during which I was so tired sometimes tears would just leak out of my eyes. I already worry about potential future twin trials we may face, so sometimes it helps to focus on the easier stuff, like only being preggers once, or taking full advantage of BOGO sales at Carter’s.