Two Words

Mucus plug.

This is a real thing and it is disgusting.  Apparently some women don’t know when they lose it, but I think these women are lying.  I think these women are so horrified by what they see, they’re just like “Oh, hmmm, no I didn’t have that.  Only glitter and sunshine come out of my vagina.”  Who wouldn’t want to lie about something called a bloody show?  I would lie about it, but turns out I have many thoughts on the subject…

I lost my mucus plug at 30 weeks.  I was at work (I’m starting to notice that lots of unpleasant stuff happened while I was at work.  Not good.)  I promptly told my boss I didn’t feel well and went home.  I figured he didn’t want to know the details.

When I called my doctor’s office, the nurse was not worried because I wasn’t having any other indications of labor (except for Braxton Hicks, which I had been having since week 19).  However, I took my mom’s advice and I insisted on coming into the office.  They checked my cervix and it was still long, so my anxiety was relieved.  On a serious note if you are ever concerned about something and your doctor isn’t, it’s okay to insist on going into the office.  When a doctor specializes in OBGYN, he or she should expect to deal with worried mommies all the time.  If your doctor is annoyed by your paranoia, get a different doctor.

I told one of my newly pregnant friends that I lost my mucus plug and she said, “from your nose?” and then I got to traumatize her with what she could (maybe) expect to encounter in the near future.  I tried to talk her out of Googling it because the images returned by that search should not be allowed on the Internet.  She didn’t listen, though, and now there’s no going back.

Oh, and you do not need to save your mucus plug or take pictures of it for your doctor.  No, I did not do this; luckily I Googled it before I went into the office and I learned doctor does not need to see it.  Apparently if you are admitting that something that gross is happening, the doctor takes your word for it.

Slight tangent here – I think Sex Ed in school should consist of pictures of mucus plugs and nothing else.  “Hey kids, if you have sex, you will get pregnant and you will secrete mucus out of your vagina.”  Then follow up with a slide show of the nastiest pictures you can find.  I think I just solved the teen pregnancy epidemic.  Tangent over.

Another cool thing about the mucus plug is that after you lose it, it can regenerate and then you can lose it again and again!  The gift that just keeps giving.  Dammit.  I would regenerate and lose mine every 2-3 days.  If you do the math, I first lost my plug at 30 weeks and delivered at 33 weeks + 4 days – that’s a lot of mucus plugs.

And now you know.

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