Once we “defied the odds” by having twins, I thought we couldn’t possibly be so lucky to have healthy twins. I just kept waiting for bad news and I had to actively manage my worries. Deep breaths, talking to my husband or friends, or distracting myself with other activities were the best ways for me to take my mind of all the what-ifs. It also helped me to remember that if something were wrong, we would figure it out and would love our babies no matter what.
After going through pregnancy and birth, there are a few things I now know I should not have wasted worry on:
- Your baby not having a face. This sounds weird, but I actually had this worry. With twins, we got an ultrasound every 4 weeks to make sure they were both growing on schedule. However, we only got a view of Baby A’s face once, at 12 weeks. “What if our baby doesn’t have a face?” I would ask my husband. He would say, “We haven’t seen her face on an ultrasound so that’s your conclusion? That she doesn’t have a face? She has a face.” Remember, just because something is unclear on an ultrasound doesn’t make it reality. Remember this. Similarly, it can be hard to see arms and legs at certain angles on an ultrasound. Do not conclude from this that your baby does not have arms and legs.
- Your nursery theme. I liked to tell people our theme was diapers because they were going to be EVERYWHERE. People laughed at this, but it’s not really a joke. Your baby will not care if she has owls or monkeys or elephants in her room. If you want to do a Pottery Barn nursery, do it, but please don’t stress out about it!
- Your regular doctor not being at the birth. Okay, I can understand being anxious about this; however, there are many great doctors and nurses out there and just about all of them can catch your baby. I met the doctor who delivered my twins approximately 15 seconds before he met my cervix. And I did not care one bit.
- Pooping during birth. Many women obsess about this. If/when you squeeze one out in front of the many people in the room, you will not care. If you have an epidural, you will not even feel it. Also, none of the nurses are going to be like, “OMG! Poop!” If your partner does this, he’s a jerk. If your doctor does this, poop on him again.
There are a million things that can go wrong during pregnancy. It doesn’t help to worry about them. Do whatever you can to stay healthy and don’t sweat the small stuff or the things you can’t control (or at least try not to).