The scale finally says I’m back to my pre-baby weight. I gained a whopping 70 pounds during my pregnancy and it took me almost two years to lose it all. I remember feeling disappointed on the twins’ first birthday because I still hadn’t gotten back to my pre-baby weight. However, instead of dwelling on the extra pounds (like my pre-baby self would have), I chose to focus on what my body had accomplished 12 months earlier. I appreciate this body more than I used to.
As time goes on, I’ve realized that I can’t “get back” to my pre-baby body. That body doesn’t exist anymore. I look a lot different than I did 3 years ago, even at the same weight. I think most women would agree with me when I say that pregnancy permanently changes your body. It’s just different.
In a fun little switcheroo, the more weight I lose, the more readily my stretch marks show up. Although I wish they weren’t there, I don’t hate my stretch marks because I think pregnancy also changed my brain. I obviously still care about the number on the scale, but having kids gave me more perspective. Like a lot of people, I always want to lose 5 more pounds, but it’s no longer my first priority. It took pregnancy and childbirth for me to respect my body. Two people grew in there, you guys, and I don’t know what could be cooler than that.
I initially started writing this post because I was happy to have lost the weight, but I kept asking myself why I was really writing it. Was it to let other moms know that I did not “bounce back” in 8 weeks? Was it to pat myself on the back? Was it to convince myself that weight doesn’t matter? I think it’s a little of all of that, but, since having the twins, it’s been an unofficial goal of mine to be less fixated on my weight. I have two little girls watching me now, and I don’t want them to have body image issues, like so many (most?) girls and women do. I know that I can only control my own actions and that they will inevitably see magazines and watch television and be otherwise influenced every day with images of what they’re supposed to look like. I can’t control everything that they see and hear, but I hope to give them the skills to know what is real and what is important. Should be easy, right?